People are talking: Kenny's grand slam
Published 14/03/2016 | 02:30
Tuesday was International Women's Day. Pat Kenny peppered his piece on Maria Sharapova's tennis ban with comments that seemed calculated to drive the feminists bananas. (Not that it takes much calculation.)
He said that a lot of his listeners would be glad to make babies with the tennis star while she serves her ban.
Really? Say what you will about the people who listen to Pat, they're not the type who sees a hot Russian and shouts, "Oi, comrade, fancy a bit of the other?" Pat also suggested the time off tennis offers Sharapova the opportunity to have a couple of kids.
But judging by what she said at her press conference, you'd wonder if now is a good time for Maria to contemplate having children. She's clearly got health problems. The only thing standing between her and magnesium deficiency is a performance-enhancing substance from Latvia.
You might feel the urge to ring her up and suggest she try Milk of Magnesia. But our guess is she's screening calls from Ireland in case it's one of Pat's listeners looking to ask her out on a date. Or maybe she's just counting the many consolations in her life. After all, she has about 130 million of them.
Nude Kim is no match for 'Bathhouse Betty' Midler
By Anne Marie Scanlon
On the eve of International Women's Day, Kim Kardashian celebrated in pretty much the same way she celebrates everything - by posting a selfie. She was nude. Big whoop, haven't we seen all this before? Bette Midler certainly thought so. "If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen, she's gonna have to swallow the camera," the 70-year-old tweeted.
A swarm of lower-alphabet listers came to Kim's defence, no doubt genuinely concerned for her freedom of expression and not at all bothered with being retweeted to her 41.6 million followers.
Kim seemed especially miffed at Midler and, in a reply that could have been written by her husband and serial Tweet-ranter Kanye West, Kardashian threw shade at the veteran entertainer over her age. Midler, who started her career as Bathhouse Betty, and has dealt with audiences that would make Kim and Kanye weep with fear, didn't flinch. "Looks like anyone can take a selfie," she tweeted, "but not everyone can take a joke."
The quick and the dead
By Donal Lynch
It's hard being a dead celebrity. You might not be dead at all; it could be one of those hoaxes like The Rock or Lady Gaga periodically endures. But if you are dead, you might really hope that they at least say the right person died.
Poor Game Of Thrones creator George RR Martin had the entire Twittersphere take the veil on his behalf last week as one of the unforeseen consequences of predictive text meant that half of us thought it was he, and not legendary Beatles producer George Martin, who had died.
Others are even more confusing. There was a time when it seemed every young actor in the world was called Cory. When Cory Haim died some years ago, there was a depressing moment when Google revealed its top searches for the week in question: Cory Feldman.
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