Big cat that got the cream
Sunday November 15 2009
It can be quite hard keeping up with sexy-older-woman nomenclature. One man's MILF is another man's cougar. And then you have Helen Mirren in a class all her own. But according to Demi Moore, unofficial spokeswoman for old birds who still have it, there is yet another category of pre-menopausal predator we now have to be aware of: the puma.
Apparently, this particular feline is a sexy woman in her 30s who goes out with younger men. And, confusingly, Demi told a magazine this week that if she has to be called a big cat then she belongs to this subspecies. They may have thought it politer not to point out to her that she hasn't been in her 30s for some time now -- indeed her "toyboy", Ashton Kutcher, is already 31 -- but she looks like she could be, and that's the main thing.
In the interview Demi did seem mildly bewildered at how she "somehow" ended up as the "poster girl" for sexy older birds who can get younger men, but may we suggest there is a way to avoid such crass stereotyping and labelling. She should just do what most of the rest of womankind her age does and let up for a second; ditch the exercise and the bikini photo shoots, put on a stone (or two), start wearing "sensible" clothes, maybe let a grey hair peek through or, better yet, dye it blue.
And, if none of that works, she could just move on from Ashton Kutcher and find someone a little older and rougher, possibly with a little male-pattern baldness, to love. His name could even be "Bruce" if she was so inclined. That way, no young man would ever again accuse her of being a big cat of any kind.
And they might stop that annoying woofing when she walks by.
- Donal Lynch
Sunday Independent
