Wednesday 28 September 2016

My vile warblings are now on temporary hold

Eleanor Goggin

Published 23/11/2015 | 02:30

Still abstaining: Eleanor Goggin. Photo: David Conachy
Still abstaining: Eleanor Goggin. Photo: David Conachy

I'm getting better at it. The supercilious smile that says I'm having a great time and not missing the drink at all. I think I have managed a more convincing countenance. But I could be wrong. Maybe folk are saying behind my back that I'm pathetic looking. I'll never know. I read a quote during the week. "I hate when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun, you don't need running shoes to run either but it f***ing helps'. I concur.

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In the last two weeks I have never been at so many events where the drink is free and you have to buy the minerals. I was at a ladies fundraising lunch the other day. An annual event. Normally after the lunch the realisation that I have a home to go to doesn't hit me and 'ladies who lunch' turns rapidly into 'ladies who lurch'. Not on this occasion. As the waitress filled the glasses all around me, I sipped on my non-alcoholic beer. A tiny bottle that I paid a fiver for, I might add. Daylight robbery. My wine glass filled up every time as I was taking the 'quota' for other people. On one occasion I forgot and went to take a slurp. A bolt of lightening hit me and my hand moved quickly to the bottle of soapy beer. I smiled throughout and left before the real damage was due to start. I might have succumbed.

Having the car is a help. I actually enjoy being able to leave when I want to and climb in to the driver's seat with a self-righteous spring in my step. I motored on to a dinner party and managed six whole hours. The fact that there was lots of reminiscing and gossip was a help. I brought a bottle of non-alcoholic wine with me which is also vile. It was a step too far when, at the end of the night, somebody asked me to sing. I only sing when I've had a few confidence-boosters. So maybe for one month only I'm sparing people the pain of listening politely to my vile warblings. As they say, every cloud…..

TIP: Smile and keep the resolve. Think of all the bad calories I'm avoiding.

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