Sunday 4 December 2016

'Your bum has feelings' - the funniest Eurovision lyrics ever

Safe to say, Eurovision probably isn't the place to scout out the next Bob Dylan

Jess Denham

Published 11/05/2016 | 10:21

Euro memories: Jedward on stage in Baku
Euro memories: Jedward on stage in Baku
Jedward(john and Edward Grimes) at the Welcome party with Lena the German winner last year and also this years representative ,in the Concert Hall in Dusseldorf the host city for this years Eurovision Song Contest..KOBPIX ....NO FEE PIX

Ever found yourself with one of Eurovision’s many catchy songs stuck in your head and realised that the lyrics you’re blithely singing along to are, in fact, absolutely mad?

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Many countries perform their bids for glory in English, rather than their native tongues, for maximum exposure and in turn, more coveted votes. With that in mind, it’s understandable that words and meanings can get mixed up in translation, but the results certainly make for an amusing night. Having said that - Ireland and the UK have had some ridiculous lyrics, notably from Jedward in 2014 and Scooch in 2007.

Let’s take a look back at some of our all-time favourites:

“Your breasts are like swallows-a-nestling” - Sweden, 1973

“My plane is landing on the unlit runway of your soul” - Albania, 2012

“If someone soon throws some nuclear poo here on our Europe, what will you say when we get all the filth on our faces” - Finland, 1982

“I look over all the maps trying to escape ‘cause I’m tired of your sweet cheesecake” - Belarus, 2014

“I got outside, I smiled to the dog” - Estonia, 2015

“The difference between people, between apes and primates, it’s not much bigger than between noodles and pancake stripes, pancake stripes” - Austria, 2003

“Boom boom boomerang, snadderydang, kangaroo, boogaloo, didgeridoo” - Austria, 1977

“Love is no bounced cheque, bad man. Oh sex with you passes by as fast as the spaceship Enterprise” - Austria, 1997

“My cute boy, a little bit dark, come daddy, come here” - Romania, 2012

“The birds come down to the plants of the balcony and sing with my bum” - Israel, 1987

“I like this, I like that, but all I want is a moustache” - France, 2014

“She’s got her lipstick on, here I come, da da dum” - Ireland, 2014

“The cat is happy, the dog is happy, the cat is happy, the dog is happy, we are in a wonderful mood and very happy, we are in a wonderful mood, oh joy!” - Russia, 2012

“Would you like something to suck on for landing?” UK, 2007

“Your bum has feelings, your bum is a part of you, don’t put it on chairs, your bum has an opinion, yeah” - Austria, 2012

The Eurovision 2016 grand final takes place in Stockholm, Sweden on Saturday 14 May and the second semi-final, featuring Ireland's entry, takes place on Thursday night.

(© Independent News Service)

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