Beady Eye: Eye on you
The inimitable Liam Gallagher tries to seduce Eamon Sweeney, gives his (scathing) opinion on today’s pop acts, swears a lot and, in passing, mentions Beady Eye’s new album
You and me, right now," Liam Gallagher growls at me from behind his rock star standard-issue sunglasses. "C'mon!!!" No, Liam Gallagher isn't challenging Day & Night to a fight, which is what you'd first expect, but to hop into a giant bed with the former Oasis singer in a swanky five-star hotel in South Kensington.
While readers who may consider Liam to be a handsome chap would have other reactions – and it must be said that in the flesh, he certainly is a looker – Day & Night has an interview to get on with for your benefit. There simply isn't any time for any hanky panky.
Liam isn't accepting my excuses. "But you don't have a fucking boyfriend though, do ya?" Gallagher cackles. "You're allowed one of each."
Gallagher is holding court in his inimitable fashion alongside his bandmates in Beady Eye to promote today's release of their second album BE. But what's foremost in Day & Night's mind is that we've seemingly sparked a bit of a ding-dong between the former Oasis front man and Echo & The Bunnymen's Ian McCulloch.
"I like Liam, but, to be honest, Beady Eye are crap," McCulloch told our Ed Power.
"At the moment, he looks like a fish out of water," claimed McCulloch. "He should have bided his time and thought a little bit more about lyrics that might be worth writing. 'The roller – I'm the roller'? I feel for him."
At the mention of McCulloch's name, Gallagher's unmistakable visage darkens behind his shades and he starts muttering under his breath.
"So, he slagged off my lyrics?" Gallagher asks. "Well, I will tattoo my lyrics onto his fucking forehead the next time I see him"
His Beady bandmates break the frosty silence that's just descended on the room and stand up for their man.
"Ian McCulloch is very fucking deluded about his own space in the grand scheme of things," Gem Archer says. "He actually thinks he's written the best song of all time. He can't have. I've never heard it."
"I'm disappointed he said that," Andy Bell offers. "I've met him and I found him to be cool. Actually, I had quite a good night out in Stockholm with him"
Day & Night tries to play the peace maker, reminding the affronted Beady Eye singer that McCulloch's nickname is Mac the Mouth and he has a penchant for winding people up.
Not surprisingly, Liam is having none of it.
"Fuck him!" Gallagher exclaims. "He looks like a fucking dustbin man anyway."
Here we go again . . . Liam seems to love having a pop at whomever he regards as lesser rock stars for their perceived lack of sartorial elegance. The last time Liam met Day & Night, he opined that Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder looked like "a fucking tree".
Gallagher the Younger has also said that Bloc Party look like "a band off of University Challenge", Coldplay's Chris Martin looks like "a geography teacher" and Mumford & Sons are "a gang of hippies who look like they've got nits.
"All the lads these days, they all look like chicks, don't they?" Gallagher reflects.
"Skinny jeans, all that wank. There's no one that stands out."
Moving along to another apparent bone of contention. When The Stone Roses reformed last year, Liam gushed: "Not been this happy since my kids were born." However, there are rumours flying around that relations between the musical Godfathers of the People's Republic of Mancunia and Liam have soured.
A self-confessed diehard Roses fan, Liam Galllager and Beady Eye were invited to support The Stone Roses at last summer's historic Heaton Park shows in Manchester. However, it was alleged that The Stone Roses supposedly grew weary at the sight of Gallagher repeatedly messing around at the side of the stage. It has been reported that, during one show, he had to be escorted away from the stage area and planted behind the mixing desk, where he proceeded to spill beer.
"It's all complete nonsense, man," Gallagher responds. "I've no idea where they got it all from. I've never been chucked out of a Roses gig. I've never been drunk around the mixing desk. I respect all that kind of stuff. It's their gig.
"Apparently, all this happened in Dubai. Well, Andy Bell was with us. We all went back to the hotel for Ian's 50th. It's all bollocks. It's funny that it all came out the day we were releasing a fucking tune and all, but this shit supposedly happened two months ago.
"It's some c*** putting some bullshit out. We're going on the radio and all they're going on about is The Stone Roses. All bullshit."
"Now that they (The Roses) are back doing gigs the world seems alright again," Liam continues. "The world is a much better place for having The Stone Roses in it."
So is the whole hoopla just another example of a viral rumour mutating into fact?
"I don't care," Liam answers. "I don't give a fuck, mate. I love the fact that The Stone Roses themselves didn't comment, because they don't play the game. Every twist and turn these days and everyone has some comment and you're supposed to be always commenting back on it. I'm like: "Go away you fucking idiots."
So . . . let's move on to the brother. Simon Cowell has reportedly made a cool €2.5m offer to Noel Gallagher to become a panellist on The X Factor, but Liam's big bro said: "I've not got anything against the show, I just don't want to be on the telly every Saturday night. Fuck that. I've got a slight case of Tourette's syndrome and I would just end up saying to Louis Walsh, 'Will you shut up, you c**t!'"
"He's a liar," Gallagher deadpans. "Do you believe that?"
Well, you know him best, Liam. Would you do it?
"Nah, not my scene," Gallagher replies. "I think he'd (Noel) absolutely love to do it, but he knows he can't. But I know he'd fucking love to do that shit."
Apart from his beef with Ian McCulloch, which is apparently all our fault in the first place, Liam is actually a lot less combative than the swearing hurricane of yore.
He's even back in touch with the aforementioned big brother in the wake of the Premier League-winning exploits of their beloved Manchester City.
So, has the foul-mouthed poster-boy of Britpop, who turned 40 last year, finally matured?
"I never felt part of Britpop," Liam says.
"It was all a London thing. I don't want to be part of any wave anymore. Can't be bothered. We just want to crack on and get on with playing our music.
"I don't want to be part of any scene. Scenes are shit. It's time consuming. Anyway, I'm too fucking old to be part of any fucking scene.
"All these stupid fucking bands that you have to speak about for the rest of your life. I'd rather crack on."
Sadly, it's also time for Day & Night to crack on, as our time with the rock star, who his brother memorably called "a man with a fork in a world of soup", is up.
Say what you like about Liam Gallagher's music and attitude, or today's slightly intimidating air of surliness mixed with his surreal sense of humour, you can never, ever accuse the Mayo Mammy's youngest son of being boring.
BE is out today