Thursday 17 August 2017

Five big reveals from Sharknado 3

Jedward in Sharknado 3 - #Jednado
Jedward in Sharknado 3 - #Jednado
Ed Power

Ed Power

Sharks! Jedwards! Lots (and lots) of vaguely famous people having their heads chewed off. Sharknado 3 aired on SyFy last night and very nearly blew up the internet in the process. Here are the five big reveals from the schlock masterpiece.

1. Famous People Will Appear In Anything

What unites Ne-Yo, Jack Collins, ex-Incredible Hulk Lou Ferrigno and Game of Thrones author George RR Martin? They all have cameos in Sharknado 3. We're guessing Mr T and David Hasselhoff were busy that weekend. Scratch that – Hasselhoff was in Sharknado 3 as well.

2. B-Movie Special Effects Are Getting Better

Ryan Newman as Claudia Shepard, left, and Jack Griffo as Billy appear in a scene from
Ryan Newman as Claudia Shepard, left, and Jack Griffo as Billy appear in a scene from "Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"

Clearly Sharknado is lowest denominator entertainment, not to be taken seriously. But the CGI is a distinct step up for SyFy/The Asylum (producers of the movie). It was almost as if they wanted to make a professional-looking film that didn't cause your eyeballs to ache.

3. Jedward Are Back

A shark-based weather system represents different things to different people. To some, it's a sign that the modern b-movie has very literally jumped the shark.

To others it may be evidence that, had she gone about things a little differently, Tara Reid could plausibly have had a mainstream movie career. For John and Edward Grimes, a cameo in the year's best worst film was nothing less than a shot at career redemption.

Jedward in Sharknado 3 - #Jednado
Jedward in Sharknado 3 - #Jednado

They were chased down the Thames by flying sharks to promote the flick and have released a tie-in single, Oh Hell No – and the world media loves them for it. They're back –  all thanks to an infestation of airborne marine-predators.

4 Sharks In Space Are Now A Thing

How could The Asylum trump the scenery-devouring silliness of Sharknado 2? By sending sharks into space, of course. It turns out ravenous great whites are just as dangerous in near earth orbit as when sneaking up behind you at sea.

5 It Is Possible to Survive Being Eaten Alive By A Shark and Then Re-Entering The Earth's Atmosphere

Tara Reid and Jedward
Tara Reid and Jedward

…At least if you're a character played by Tara Reid. In the climactic final third of the movie a pregnant Reid is swallowed whole by a shark, tumbles back to earth and, on splashdown, is revealed to have given birth. Do heart-warming endings come any fuzzier? They do not.

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