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Tuesday 2 September 2014

Film review - Ride Along

Cert 12a

Published 03/03/2014 | 02:30

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LIKE boxers or rugby players, the brain can only take so much pummelling before intelligence quotients suffer. Cinema such as Ride Along commits a similar assault on grey matter, landing blows of such low standards and oafishness that you risk leaving the auditorium stupider than when you entered it.

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Insufferable Kevin Hart bleats his way through 100 inspiration-free minutes as Ben, a motor-mouthed Atlanta high school security guard who fancies himself as a full-blown cop. Understandably disliked by soon-to-be brother-in-law James (the ever-surly former gangsta rapper Ice Cube), Ben is keen as mustard to prove his machismo to James and hopefully get his blessing ahead of his marriage to James's sister Angela (Tika Sumpter). Off they go on a ride along, with James hoping the training day will expose Ben as a 5ft-tall blouse.

You gasp in horror as the pair fawn over ammo at a firing range beside posters that read 'I Want You To Buy a Gun for America'. The chases and explosions (which seem to be where all the effort has been expended) are deafened by the ceaseless jabber of Hart and the ruffian grunts of Ice Cube as they dawdle their way through different shades of idiocy.

Before you can utter "kill me now", the once great Laurence Fishburne is disgracing himself by being associated with the project. Director Tim Story (who has given us such gems as Fantastic Four and Think Like A Man over the years) cribs his way through, feeling that annoying the audience is more important than producing something he can stand to in years to come.Strictly to be used as a distraction for dim 12 year olds.

HAW

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