Feyning interest in older men
Published 27/04/2015 | 02:30
It was a big week for our favourite Cabbage Patch Doll lookalike, Amy Schumer. First she fell down in front of Kimye and then she met up with Tina Fey-Julia Dreyfus-Patricia Arquette sketch where the four ladies all meet to discuss, in comedic terms, sexism in the movie industry. Together they ironically celebrate Julia's "last fuckable day" and impart their hard-earned wisdom to a wide-eyed Amy. The sketch is supposed to rail against the powers that be in Hollywood, who casts hot young women opposite haggard, old male co-stars and sees Julia toasted by the other three ladies as she rows her way to some menopause island where she presumably won't give a shit about ageing.
We couldn't help wondering if there is a media compromise here that might be acceptable to feminists. Part of the problem is that real-life women too readily play along with the idea of an ancient-yet-supposedly-hot man.
What about if instead of not judging women for not looking hot (which let's face it, is never going to happen) we let gay men run the show and thereby start judging male stars much more harshly? So all those crusty geriatrics who pass for distinguished would be sent to the glue factory or laughed out of town. But you know what that means, ladies? You lose George Clooney. You lose Michael Douglas. And you definitely lose Clint Eastwood (What's that? You weren't bothered about him?)
The harsh, judgemental gay male gaze would decide who is f**kable and instantly there would be much more parity in terms of people feeling hard done by.
With gay men in charge, there can be sexism and ageism for everyone, and Julia Dreyfus can have some dejected elderly male company on her island. And who is she kidding, that's got to be what she wanted all along.