Eight reasons why Monday mornings after a music festival should be banned
Published 21/07/2014 | 11:45
Suffering the aftermath of Longitude? You’re not alone.
Head down, deep breaths, your tongue feeling as dry as cotton wool, music still ringing in your ears.
Fifteen thousand people flocked to Marlay Park yesterday for the third and final day of Longitude and as a result, there’s not a whole lot of productive work being done today.
If you’re in the same boat, here are the symptoms you are most likely facing today.
1. The Thirst: Does your desk look like the beverage fridge of a convenience store? Scattered around me already are cartons of coconut water, chocolate milk, a Lucozade Isotonic and an empty coffee cup. (It’s not even lunch time.)
2. The Proof: The giveaway festival wristband, hair akin to a birds nest, a stamp from Coppers/Pygmalion/Everleigh for those who remained standing after Massive Attack’s stellar performance.
3. The Look: Though I’m trying to avoid eye contact with anyone (my glazed eyes are always a dead giveaway) if you do catch the gaze of a colleague, they offer a knowing smile of consolation.
4. Fighting the urge to ask someone for a hug/reassuring shoulder rub.
5. Spending far longer than necessary wondering where your sunglasses/novelty headband/Penneys rain coat disappeared to.
6. Cursing yourself for thinking that a pint of prosecco was a good idea.
7. Suddenly remembering bumping into the random childhood crush/Gaeltacht pal/long lost former friend in the queue for the portaloos- this is Ireland after all.
8. Questioning why in this day and age McDonalds can’t organise a delivery service (a McFlurry mightn't solve our problem entirely but by God it would help.)
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