Man sells cheating wife's wedding dress on Gumtree
A man whose wife cheated on him with one of his best friends has put her wedding dress up for sale online alongside a scornful advert.
In the hilarious ad for a “Bride Seeking Eventual Infidelity”, the 32-year-old Australian man labels his wife “adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous”, before adding “cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage.”
The post, which has received more than 150,000 views since being listed on Gumtree on Sunday, is filled with brilliant, scathing sarcasm.
“Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!” the advert begins.
“This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".”
The comical ad even goes as far as taking inspiration from the Bible, describing the dress as “a one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God - Jesus Christ.”
The rant goes on to say “this harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day. As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.
“This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.”
She may be able to take your house, but she can’t take your sense of humour.
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