Thursday 8 December 2016

Objects of Desire: Colm O'Regan

Published 25/02/2016 | 02:30

Author and comedian Colm O'Regan
Author and comedian Colm O'Regan
The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue
Toyotta Corolla
A Swiss 2800mAh universal portable charger
A notebook
A Nutribullet
Colm O'Regan's 1969 Rand McNally atlas
A Roberts Stream internet radio
A Ban.do Good Ideas notebook set
A Tribest Personal Blender
A new Toyota Corolla
A globe

The comedian and author tells Andrea Smith about his favourite purchases

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Digital radio

I love radio. It's a constant companion, both in the car and at home. My wife bought me a Roberts Stream 93i internet radio (€219.99, DID.ie) for Christmas and it has opened up a huge world of thousands of channels to me. I say opened up but then I closed it again as there was too much choice there, but it's good to know the world is waiting for me.

Phone charger

It's a terrible indictment of me and my world that some of my strongest emotions relate to phone battery levels. Anger - when the battery ebbs away faster than expected; regret - that I didn't charge it when I had the chance, and joy - when some absolute bag-of-ledge has a charger. On my hierarchy of needs, it's somewhere in between food and security. My Swiss 2800mAh universal portable charger (€30.99, Argos.ie) is one small black box protecting me from anarchy.

Smoothie maker

The heroes of 1916 died so millennials could eat veg without having to think about it. Our smoothies are more fruity now (Nutribullet Pro 900, €180, BrownThomas.com). We've got rid of the spirulina, a foul-tasting algae that goes back to Aztecs' time. Not that I'm dissing them, when you consider the sacrifices they made.

Notebook

One shouldn't need a nice notebook to write well, but what's wrong with feeling sexy when you write? I like the way it feels on my skin - wait, no, that's not right. Anyway, this Castelli Tuscon 240 page notebook (€15.21, Castelli.co.uk) is the right size and I hope to fill thousands of them before I die, leaving a headache for my descendants.

Atlas

I love my 1969 Rand McNally International Atlas which I bought second-hand in a market for €15. Old reference books may be out of date in ways, but they give a clue to the views of the time. Pre-1970, nobody gave a hoot about the environment, so it's interesting to read an old atlas showing a picture of deforestation and cheerfully describing it as "settlers making a new life in the forest." I have encyclopaedias from the 1930s that promise that 'the scourge of the leopard' will soon be eliminated from India.

Colm O'Regan's three books of Irish Mammies are on sale nationwide and at www.IrishMammies.ie. The ­Ennis Bookclub festival Irish Mammy lunch takes place on March 6 - details on www.ennisbookclubfestival.com

Old car

I'm holding on to my 1997 Toyota Corolla, which I bought from a friend for €800 eight years ago. I find it hard to let the car go, and want to get to 200,000 miles for no particular reason other than seeing the number come up, because I missed it the first time at 100,000 miles. And I own it, and owning something already is by and large cheaper than getting a brand new thing, unless my car is embezzling from me.

Books about words

I recently purchased the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (€6.41, Amazon.co.uk). Slang from 200 years ago was much more fun, and if you don't agree, you're nothing but a slubber de gullion!

How to get alternatives to Colm's favourite things

We know we should have our five pieces of fruit a day but it can be hard fitting it all in. This Tribest Personal Blender PB250 (€129, Juicers.ie) will help get all that juicy goodness into you, and best of all, your Irish  mammy will definitely approve.

Colm loves his notebooks, but if you tend to forget brilliant ideas an hour after you first had them, this fab Ban.do Good Ideas notebook set (€17.50, Hippenings.com) is just the thing for keeping those old brainwaves safe.

Looks like our Colm is planning on driving his 19-year-old old car until he or it falls apart. If he decides to come into this century and go for the new version of the same car, the 2016 Toyota Corolla is now available (€20,995, Toyota.ie)

Colm loves his old atlas, and at 47 years of age, it certainly has paid its dues. If you're in need of a more modern approach, check out this Insight Blue Planet globe (€25.50, Easons.com), which gives you the world at a glance, or the Collins World Atlas (€23.70)

Irish Independent

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