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Sunday 4 December 2016

'My worst job? Cleaning the inside of exhaust pipes at a race track in Monaco'

Money talks with Jason Byrne

Published 29/05/2016 | 02:30

Jason Byrne will be touring the country this July as part of his 20 Years A Clown show
Jason Byrne will be touring the country this July as part of his 20 Years A Clown show

Jason Byrne is a comedian from Ballinteer in Co Dublin. His career in comedy started over 20 years ago. Along with his own live stand-up shows, the comic has performed in numerous TV shows including BBC1's Live At the Apollo and RTE 2's Anonymous. He stars alongside Amy Huberman in The Rug, one of the new short films commissioned by Sky 1.

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Byrne will be touring the country this July as part of his 20 Years A Clown show, including in the Maritime Hotel in Bantry on July 24, the Royal Hotel in Bray on July 16, the Great Northern Hotel in Bundoran on July 15 and the Abbey Tavern, Howth on July 23.

 

What's the funniest thing you've ever heard about money?

I once heard about most of Ireland going into huge debt because the banks gave them massive loans without much background checks ... I know, I know - it can't true.

What's the most important lesson about money which your career in comedy has taught you?

Don't buy ducks.

What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought?

I once went into a bank and bought a house that was massively overpriced, with a massive loan, where the only person to suffer was me - and not the bank. I know, I know, it can't be true.

What was your worst job?

Cleaning the inside of exhaust pipes at a race track in Monaco - not the F1 race track, but one further in.

What was your biggest financial mistake?

I once bought a bag of ducks off a man in Galway. When I went to use them on stage, I noticed that he had sprayed several chickens green and grey - and taped duck callers to their beaks.

What was your best financial killing?

I sold a bag of duck callers at the Galway hunters festival. They buyer also got a free egg with each purchase.

Do you use any money saving apps?

My wife ... What? What? What? I'm telling you, yeah, the wife ... She'll save ye alright. Yeah right, more like a money spending app.

Do you have an Android or iPhone?

If "An Droid" is Irish for robot, then I just have an iPhone.

Do you know how much is in your current account?

Yes.

Have you ever made an insurance claim?

Yes, after I fell into and down a few beer cellars from the street -in fact, six in all. No, no, wait - actually that was Uncle Arthur from Only Fools and Horses.

Have you ever switched utility provider?

I'm assuming the person who writes these questions is single or very alone.

Do you use iTunes or Spotify?

I'm an iTunes man but sometimes a Spotify man. I'd be neither if I could learn how to nick the music.

What was the last thing you bought online?

As my Dad once said: "Never buy online. If you do, an African prince will take all your money."

Do you have a mortgage? Is it fixed, variable or tracker?

Again, people who work for this paper, please get this person out, or at least on a date.

Would you buy Irish property now?

I would, but only muck. There's massive money in muck (top soil).

Do you pay in cash or card?

Eggs.

Do you ever haggle?

Always love doing that, Irish people hate doing that. Always be prepared to walk away from a sale - I've done it loads, and the salesperson has never followed me.

Are you better off than your parents?

No. My mather and pather are from Ballinteer - the great Sir Paddy and Dame Eithne Byrne. They never talk about what I do as they wanted me to marry Miss Helen - heir to the Dundrum shopping centre - and oversee the running of the village.

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