Objects of Desire with Jason Byrne
The Dublin-born comedian tells Andrea Smith about his favourite purchases
I need cufflinks when I'm doing corporate gigs, and people assume I'm mental so they buy me mad ones (burger cufflinks, €16.95, Cufflinks.ie). I have so many pairs, including basketballs, Lego ones, pairs with the kids' faces on them, ones that are little watches, and tiny guns and bullet cartridges that my brother bought me.
I collect old Vespas (€3,950-€7,950 new, Vespa.ie) and have 10 of them, mainly T5s. I love customising them, adding loads of mirrors and all that kind of thing. The sad part is that I look like Krusty the Clown on them because I'm 6 foot 2 and they're tiny.
I had a lazy eye as a child, so I have loads of different pairs of glasses. One of my favourites is a cool pair of Theo tortoiseshell glasses (Capone frame €350, Optica by Donal MacNally, Royal Hibernian Way, Dublin 2). He has mental glasses! When I'm in Melbourne, I get pairs of wooden glasses from Cheyenne in Occhio Eyewear and they're great.
I love cooking, but only got into it big time when I did Marco Pierre White's TV programme, Marco's Kitchen Burnout. He trained me for four days, and I went out and bought a set of Le Creuset pots (28cm round casserole pot, €310, BrownThomas.com). They cost hundreds for one and I bought four, so my wife Brenda had to hold my hand and mop my brow as I paid for them. They'll last for life though. I still think I can cook, until Brenda comes along and does her thing.
It's hard to buy presents for my dad, and as a joke, he once told us to buy him a teapot. The problem was that everyone started buying them for him after that, but he had only been messing and really hated them. I took them and I have about 40 now out in the shed, and people buy me funny and silly ones all the time (Ashley Thomas floral rabbit teapot, €37.50, Debenhams.ie)
I love buying coats for my King Charles dogs, Sonny and Jesse, because they get cold, even though they have their own coats (Highland tartan coat, €22.49, PetShopOnline.ie). I bought them grey fur coats recently so they looked like dog-rabbits.
I love wearing pyjamas at home, and buy myself, my wife and the kids matching sets of Peter Alexander pyjamas (men's cow print fleece pants, €47.20, PeterAlexander.com.au) when I'm in Australia. It's really the bottoms that I like, and I wear them with t-shirts. I've a whole shelf of them, the way other blokes have ties. It's as if I'm trying to live in the past, when I was going around my mam's house in pyjamas. If Brenda met me now, she'd think I'm a weirdo and wouldn't want to be with me.
How to get Jason's favourite things on a smaller budget
We all love slobbing around the house in our nighties, and would wear them to work if we could. If you can't afford to fly to Perth to pick up a pair of the Byrnester's favourite posh PJs, Penneys has come to the rescue with these Batman vs Superman pyjamas. At €13, they're perfect for jokers like Jason.
Jason's dogs are the best-dressed in town, thanks to his penchant for kitting them out in clobber from abroad. Your girl dog just might catch Sonny or Jesse's eye in this Midnight Stars Dress (€28.03. UrbanPup.ie) with white chiffon and pink satin skirting, set off by a black and white beaded necklace.
Marco may have put Jason through hell in the kitchen, but this ceramic Senior casserole dish (€35, IKEA.com) will help any would-be chef to keep their cool. Made from cast iron, it comes with a 25-year guarantee - as long as you don't throw it at the wall when the heat is on and you lose your head, of course.
Cufflinks are a safe pressie, but can be boring unless you get creative. Why not personalise them for the man in your life by getting these Scrabble letter cufflinks (€8.50 each, Cufflinks.ie) with their initials? You'll defo score after that!
Catch Jason Byrne live tomorrow at Westport Town Hall, Saturday at Heritage Hotel, Portlaoise, and Vicar Street on Friday 18th and Saturday 19th March