Ryanair flies to the IFA's rescue...in my dreams
Published 06/01/2016 | 02:30
Last week, I had a dream.
First up, the IFA gets its new president. It's not Tim O'Leary, Derek Deane, Henry Burns, Tim Cullinan, Nigel Renaghan, Flor McCarthy or even Joe Healy of this parish; but rather Michael O'Leary who steps aside from Ryanair.
I know the outspoken one's name always gets trotted out anytime any organisation or even the country needs a shot of redemption but surely this would be right up his alley?
He has the requisite drive and natural abrasive manner, a proven track record in turning around a floundering behemoth and has no previous dealings with Bluebell. And, yes, he is a farmer; Angus cattle and thoroughbred horses do count.
Maybe he could dip into the corporate world when it comes to picking out a new general secretary, although he may be tempted to snap them up for himself.
Among O'Leary's first tasks will be successes in exporting Irish agricultural products, beef into the US, milk to Asia and fresh air to China.
On the issue of emissions, O'Leary may be on trickier ground (don't mention the planes) as he'll be hearing plenty on the contribution of Irish agriculture to climate change.
Fortunately, there is good news on that front as scientists come up with a device to capture the substance produced when ruminants fart, a gas-tight version of horse nappies.