Monday 16 October 2017

10 things you'll hear an Irish person say on Budget Day

(Stock picture)
(Stock picture)
Louise Kelly

Louise Kelly

It's the one day when the most popular thing for Irish people to talk about is not the weather.

Budget Day gives us an incredible amount of mileage to air our views to anyone who will listen.

Which mostly involves plain old giving out.

Here are ten of the things you’re likely to hear next Tuesday, October 10.

1) "That's it... I'm giving up the fags"

Cigarettes are likely to be hit again in Budget 2018 so prepare for the vehement promises never to have another ciggie. But on Wednesday the refrain will probably sound more like "I can't believe my fags cost this much". Moaning - but paying.

2) "Will somebody please explain who the squeezed middle is?"

This oh so vague phrase encompasses just about everyone who feels like they've been financially hard done by. So before you assume that you fit in to this bracket - which is apparently due to get some relief - take a look at the small print and make sure it's your own back pocket that benefits.

3) "The price of a bottle of wine has gone up Again?!"

See point no 1. The chances are that a good many people will be so disappointed - nay bored - with the speech on Tuesday that they'll need a tipple. And sure we'll have that €5 for the price of a (cheap) pint no?

4) "I’m never voting for Fine Gael or Fianna Fáil again"

Ah yes, the disgruntled resolutions...Let's see what happens in the next election so.

5) "Ah sure the boom is definitely back"

This regularly trotted out phrase applies to the ever growing rush-hour traffic, the return to camping overnight in the hope of paying over €400k for a standard three-bed house and bank officials suddenly asking 'Are your lending needs looked after?'. And while it might not even really be relevant on Tuesday, be sure the worn out expression will be given an airing.

6) "You won't see those cuts in Leo's wage packet, will ye?"

When the dust settles and we've totted up how we fared on the Budget calculator (and realise that we're really no better off than we were before all the fuss), there's only one thing to do. Give out about how much the politicians are earning. Sure that'll make you feel better.

7) "But what the hell is happening with Brexit?"

Yes, there's another B-word in town, and it's still relevant. With all those businesses, agencies and individuals impacted by Brexit calling for extra support to ward off the threat, it remains to be seen how much money will be allocated to stretch around.

8) "This country has gone to the dogs"

See point no 5. You can't beat the old reliables. Even if you haven't got a breeze of what's going on around you, at least you'll sound like you care.

9) "Why didn't we take that €13bn back from Apple?"

With hope pretty much completely dashed that Donohoe will pull a wad of hidden cash out for Budget 2018, that €13bn would come in really handy...

10) "I remember when a Mars Bar used to cost 30p"

Best start making a little kitty of those 10c coins or you'll be stuck shaking the vending machine again.

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